Conflict erupted Monday night after a church group armed with high-powered Nerf guns marched on Washington, forcing Biden supporters, Antifa members, and Black Life Matters protesters to flee miles from the White House. Branded as “extremists” by several media outlets, the church group included men, women, and children who were marching on Pennsylvania Avenue while singing worship songs and firing the occasional Nerf dart in the air.
“It was terrifying,” said Thomas Jones, a full-time protester and well-respected member of Antifa. “They were marching right towards us. I was truly frightened for my life. All I could do was run as fast as I could in the opposite direction.”
Nervous bystanders pointed out that the church goers were hardly amateurs, as they were well-armed with the latest Nerf gun models.
“These weren’t those dinky little Nerf guns that seven-year-olds shoot each other with,” said one bystander. “They were semi-automatic rifles that hold clips of more than a dozen darts.”
Two arrests were made after a stray dart fired in the air coincidentally landed on a Biden supporter’s head several blocks away.