Breath Mint Sales Plunge as Mask Use Increases

Breath mint companies are experiencing a sharp decline in sales, as more and more people are relying on face masks to contain their mouth odor.

For the second quarter, the big three mint manufacturers – Altoids, Certs, and Mentos – reported a decrease of at least 25 percent in sales. “Big mint” is now lobbying Congress to intervene in state and local governments to ban the use of masks, contending that prolonged mask use is a health hazard.

“We don’t like the trend we are seeing,” said Mentos spokesman Jason Worley, who previously worked in the radioactive freight transportation industry. “We are urging the federal government to put an end to mask mania.”

In related news, a new Gallup poll found that 72 percent of gingivitis sufferers agree that face masks provide more mouth odor coverage.