California Smoke Exports Reach All-Time Highs

As wildfires rage across the West Coast, California smoke exports have reached all-time highs, as eastern cities import more and more smog to their skylines.

California politicians are conflicted about the shift, as they fear a potentially catastrophic smoke deficit in the future. “While smoke exports are good, we don’t want to overdue it,” said California Governor Gavin Newsom. “We must roll back some of our carbon emissions to curb global warming, which in turn, should naturally control our smoke exports.”

Cities like Phoenix and Las Vegas are welcoming the imports as they bring a beautiful, smoggy view to their skylines. “The smog is gorgeous,” exclaimed Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman. “Especially at dusk. The sunlight permeating through adds a beautiful haze to the Las Vegas skyline.”

In related news, a previous TrollWire survey found that an overwhelming majority of homeless people support global warming.