COVID-19 Comes Back With a Vengeance After Taking a Week Off

After taking a week-long break from infecting the American populace, COVID-19 came back with a vengeance on Thursday as cases skyrocketed to an all-time high. Precisely how many new cases have surfaced isn’t clear, scientists affirm, but it’s safe to use the level of media coverage as a barometer for how the virus is progressing.

The fact that American media outlets have diverted their attention away from COVID-19 over the past week is purportedly an indicator that the pandemic came to a brief halt.

“It’s like it disappeared overnight,” said Dr. Thomas Burman, an infectious disease physician who has encouraged shutting down all hospitals to prevent spread of the virus. “But CNN’s recent reporting shows that we could be experiencing a serious relapse.”

Scientists and political pundits aren’t sure the precise cause of COVID-19’s resurgence, or a motive as to why the virus decided to take a week-long break.

“Maybe the election scared it away,” said infectious disease scientist Dr. Tony Fauci, who just days ago had booked a Caribbean cruise and now grudgingly feels like he needs to cancel it. “Or maybe it just needed a break. Either way, COVID never planned on leaving. It was just taking a brief sabbatical.”