Critics Unsure What to Call Economic Downturn Because “Great Recession” and “Great Depression” are Already Taken

As the U.S. economy heads in a downward spiral, due to the novel coronavirus, critics are struggling to find a good phrase for the now precipitous rise in unemployment and potential strain on the healthcare system. According to observers, the challenge is largely due to the fact that “The Great Recession” and “The Great Depression” are already taken, both of which were monumental terms used to describe two of America’s largest economic crises.

“Trying to top those is going to be hard,” said a journalist with The Boston Globe. “But we have to. Coining phrases for devastating events is a significant part of the job.”

“The good ones are already taken,” echoed CNN’s Anderson Cooper, who says Charles Michelson was a genius for coining “The Great Depression” back in the 1930s. “I don’t know what the hell we’re going to call this thing. ‘The Corona-Collapse’ sounds pretty cool. Or maybe if it gets bad enough, we could call it ‘The Worst Depression.’ That would be pretty dramatic.”

Sources say executives from four major news organizations are meeting next week to have a brainstorming session about how they will brand the looming economic collapse.