Donald Trump vs. Bernie Sanders Comedy Debate

In a heated debate on Tuesday, Donald Trump went up against Bernie Sanders in a head-to-head skirmish that was both contentious and sprinkled with moments of comedy. The presidential incumbent and the presidential hopeful debated a handful of political issues. However, government policy took a back seat to issues they believe ordinary Americans find more pressing.

Trump and Sanders covered polarizing food-related issues such as whether you should bite or lick your ice cream, whether you should use a fork and knife to eat BBQ ribs, and whether or not “St. Louis-style” bagels represent a food crime. Responses from the candidates, at times, drew a combination of boos and cheers from the debate stage audience.

Comedy Quotes from the Donald Trump vs. Bernie Sanders Debate

While there is much to theorize about the Trump vs. Sanders debate, the following quotes paint the most accurate picture. These were the key issues that dominated the debate.

1. BBQ Rib-Eating Habits

Trump and Sanders were on opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to rib-eating etiquette. The socialist-leaning senator of Vermont believes BBQ ribs are a delicacy; therefore, he believes, they should be eaten with a fork and steak knife. The President believes silverware should not be used when eating ribs, likening the technique to the “PC culture” we are currently living with. Here are a few quotes from the two candidates:

Trump: “It’s time to man up Bernie. This represents all that is wrong with America. The idea that you should not eat ribs with your fingers is a culinary metaphor for American political correctness.”

Sanders: “Only a savage would eat BBQ ribs with their hands. Donald, you are a savage.”

2. St. Louis-Style Bagels

St. Louis, MO is uniquely known as a city that slices bagels like sandwich bread, something that is deeply troubling to bagel “purists.” The issue was prompted by MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, when she playfully asked the question: “Gentlemen, in terms of bagel flavors, what do you prefer – blueberry or chocolate chip?” Sanders’ response about ordering a chocolate chip bagel from the St. Louis Bread Company led to a debate over how bagels should be sliced. A couple quotes from the candidates:

Trump: “First of all, I don’t know if the Senator knows this, but St. Louis Bread Company was bought out by Panera years ago. Secondly, only a chump would ‘bread-slice’ a freakin’ bagel.”

Sanders: “I strongly disagree. Bread-slicing bagels encourages moderation. It slows down your eating, which in turn, decreases over-eating. Not to mention, I’m all about going against the grain.”

3. Eating Ice Cream

The final question of the debate led to a heated confrontation between the two candidates, so heated that the question almost led to a physical altercation. MSNBC host Chris Matthews brought up the topic of dairy subsidies. After briefly discussing the merits of federally funding the dairy industry, the debate took a sharp turn. That is, it transformed into a debate about how one should consume an ice cream cone. President Trump was a firm believer in biting the ice cream, while Senator Sanders believed licking the ice cream was a more prudent technique.

Sanders: “Of course, the President would bite his ice cream. Such a disgusting act is a representation of this entire presidency. This administration bites, plain and simple.”

Trump: “Ah, of course. The Senator would just lick his ice cream. With all due respect, Bernie, you’re a crusty old snowflake. This country needs a bold president who is going to get things done efficiently. And, yes, biting your ice cream is far more efficient than licking it.”

Post-debate analysis estimates that Tuesday night’s heated skirmish will have little impact on the presidential polls.