As the coronavirus pandemic continues to spread across the world, major league sports remain cancelled indefinitely. The crisis has suspended every major American sports league and most professional sports leagues around the world, leaving sports media outlets with little to report on.
Ratings for ESPN have been hit particularly badly, as the network has been forced to broadcast syndicated content and recordings of spring break volleyball tournaments. To combat sliding ratings, the notorious sports network has purchased syndication rights for the popular 1950s sitcom, “I Love Lucy.”
“It was a conscious decision that we project will increase viewership by 42 percent,” said ESPN spokesman Matthew Poland, who adamantly claims “Pioneer Women” is the best “I Love Lucy” episode. “We are thrilled to announce that we will be running four episodes every weeknight during the primetime hours.”
In related news, Disney is considering opening the Magical Kingdom on May 15th, but will restrict the number of visitors to ten at a time.