Fraternity “Cyber Hazes” Pledges By Forcing Them to Comment on Mommy Blogs

A fraternity at the University of Missouri in Columbia, MO is attempting to preserve its tradition of hazing after the university altered living conditions in Greek houses, which eliminated the ability to conduct rigorous and strenuous initiations.

To adapt to the changes, seniors in the fraternity developed a plan to “cyber haze” incoming freshman by forcing them to post thoughtful comments on more than a hundred “mommy blog” websites. The guidelines required that pledges identify and read articles from each website and provide relevant, complimentary feedback in a minimum of three paragraphs per comment.

So far the success rate among the incoming class has been incredibly poor, with only seven percent making it past the first initiation round. “It’s brutal,” said freshman Tony Parazzo, who goes by the pledge name Toilet Crumbs. “Cooking recipes, parenting tips, Keto diet success stories… I’m literally ready to claw my eyes out.”

“If I have to read one more article about self-healing, I’m out,” echoed a second pledge, who was on the verge of tears when asked to describe the experience.

The fraternity is considering revising the rules to make it less strenuous, as one senior acknowledged, “We have to do something. They’re dropping like flies.”