Japan Insists New Kamikaze Drone Project is “Purely Nostalgic”

Piggybacking off the Chinese government’s efforts to develop a “suicide” military drone, Japan announced its own self-destructing munitions project that officials are now insisting is “purely nostalgic.” The development, which involves programming swarms of suicidal drones, is being codenamed “The Kamikaze Project.”

As details of the “Kamikaze Drone” surfaced last week, several countries around the world criticized the project, suggesting that it could spark a “drone” holocaust.

“It’s like the atom bomb,” said Florence Parly, France’s Minister of the Armed Forces. “You wish you could un-invent it. If this project moves forward, we could have hundreds of thousands of Japanese kamikazes dive-bombing all of the world’s major cities.”

Responding to the criticism, Japanese government officials all but guaranteed that the project would lead to absolutely nothing. “We have an excess of military resources right now,” asserted Japan’s Minister of Defense Nobuo Kishi, who is well-known for his advanced knowledge in World War II Japanese kamikaze missions. “This is purely a nostalgic project intended to reminisce on the wonderful military tactics of our great country.”

Several citizens of Honolulu, Hawaii took issue with Kishi’s statement.