Man Influenza Found to Be More Severe Than Female Influenza

Researchers at the University of California in San Francisco published a shocking study on Tuesday after they found that man influenza (also known as “Man Flu”) is significantly more debilitating than female influenza.

According to the study, men suffering from the Man Flu on average exhibit worse symptoms, such as:

  • 0.8 degree increase in fever
  • 27 percent more mucus
  • 7.2 ounces more vomit
  • 112% more fatigue

Girlfriends and wives across the country are now lamenting the many derogatory “Man Flu” comments they’ve made about their boyfriends and husbands.

TrollWire’s Andy Coop interviewed a 24-year-old woman by the name of Jessica Flusterman. “Some of the things I’ve said about my boyfriend… I, uh…” Ms. Flusterman sniffled. “This has really made me stop and think. No longer will I berate him for relaxing and playing video games so much.”

“When I read this study, I felt terrible,” added Patricia Lang, a woman who used to say horrible things about her husband whenever he got sick. “Whenever John got sick, I would text my girlfriends, saying things like, ‘Ugh! John has the Man Flu and all he’s been doing is laying around watching sports!'”

“I just can’t act that way anymore… After all, he could be suffering from a truly incapacitating illness.”

* This study was commissioned by the National Coalition for Men.