Confused Man Wants a 5G Phone But Says He Doesn’t Have $5,000 to Spend

A man in Lexington, Kentucky lamented Wednesday that he really wished he could get a new 5G mobile phone, but he would have to wait because he doesn’t have $5,000 to spend, and likely won’t for a very long time.

The admission came after 62-year-old Jonathan Taylor saw an advertisement for the latest Samsung Galaxy S series smartphone. The ad, which ran on TV Land halfway through an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, claims it takes “a better selfie than any other 5G phone on the market.”

“Every time I take a selfie, the photo ends up all grainy,” Taylor told one of his neighbors on Saturday morning. “So when I saw this new Samsung ad, I was like ‘oooh,’ I need that phone! And then I saw that it would cost me five grand.”

Mr. Taylor is known amongst his peers to always own phones that are at least four generations behind the latest model. He’s also notorious for not understanding the latest acronyms.

“He still doesn’t understand what ROFL means,” said one of Taylor’s closest friends. “Any time someone texts that in our fantasy football group thread, Jonathan always responds with a question mark.”