Mexico’s President: “We Need to Secure the Border and Get the Bad Yankees Out”

Mexico’s President Andrés Manuel López Obrador said Wednesday during a press conference that he is going to secure the border and get all the “bad yankees” out. Citing COVID-19 as one reason for the proclamation, López Obrador also sees the pandemic as an opportunity to preserve the Mexican way of life by “keeping yankee culture out.”

“Right now, we’re getting the New York Jets swag, and they’re getting the cash,” the President said, wearing a blue Calvin Klein polo with the collar half-popped. “We have some real bad yankees here and we’re going to get them out.”

During the three-hour-long press conference, López Obrador emphasized that the American sports paraphernalia and Hollywood-produced DVDs that are being smuggled across the border are creating a “degenerate” Mexican culture.

“We’re not going to let the COVID-10 pandemic crisis go to waste,” the President shouted behind the podium. “In today’s Mexico, the real virus is the flood of American trinkets coming across our border.”