Putin Says “Soviet Reunion” Meeting With Ukraine “Went Very Well”

Referring to it as a “Soviet reunion,” Vladimir Putin met with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky on Monday to discuss undisclosed matters. Upon his return to Moscow, Putin told reporters that the meeting “went very well,” and that he looks forward to improving Russia’s relationship with Ukraine in the coming years.

When pressed on what was discussed, and why he referred to the meeting as a Soviet reunion, Putin slammed his fist on the podium and insisted, “It was a reunion. That’s it. A reunion between leaders of two geographic areas.”

The Russian President also announced that he would be touring Eastern Europe in the coming months to meet with leaders and discuss more undisclosed matters. The statement has attracted global praise from international pundits and organizations, including the United Nations. “It shows that Russia truly is a uniting force in the world,” said U.N. President John W. Ashe. “We should congratulate Putin and the Motherland for making such incredible strides over the years.”

Putin also drew a seemingly awkward connection between the U.S.-Mexico border wall and his “love” for the countryside of Eastern Germany. “I’m a big fan of eastern Germany. It’s beautiful. And the U.S.-Mexico border wall. It’s beautiful, too.”