MO Senator Blurts Out That He Has “Aides”


A newly-minted Missouri state senator made what seemed like a damning statement on Wednesday. Sen. Paul Johannesson, finishing two terms in the House of Representatives, had just won a heated Senate race for the 176th district.

When first asked about his victory, he blurted out, “I have aides!” Three of the four reporters in the room scampered away, shrieking in horror.

To everyone’s relief, Sen. Johannesson’s spontaneous response was simply a misinterpretation. In a three-minute-long follow up, the Senator cleared the slate.

Here’s a brief summary of his statement:

In his previous work in the House, Sen. Johannesson only had a single aide (an employee who aides him in his daily work). His promotion to the Senate comes with the benefit of having multiple aides.

In effect, Sen. Johannesson doesn’t have HIV. He simply now has multiple people aiding him in his day-to-day. And he is really excited about it.

Note: Unfortunately, one of our very own, Sean Vanity, was one of the reporters who cowered in terror following Sen. Johannesson’s initial remark. He needs a lesson in biology.


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