Shock Poll: Biden Leads +9 Among Dog-Owning Suburban Mothers of Three Who Own At Least One Prius

A shocking new poll conducted by an unknown polling agency reported Tuesday that Joe Biden is leading Donald Trump nine points among dog-owning suburban mothers of three who own at least one Toyota Prius. Pundits say the poll has major implications for the upcoming election, as the Prius-owning mother vote represents a powerful constituency.

“This is very bad news for the President,” declared CNN’s Don Lemon, who seemed almost giddy while reporting on the poll. “In order to win the key battleground states, you have to secure the dog-owning, Prius-owning, three-kid mothers vote.”

“This might as well hand Sleepy Joe the election,” lamented Fox News’ Sean Hannity, adding that you can never trust a mother who owns a fuel-efficient vehicle. “Let’s just hope these whiny mothers are too busy dealing with their bratty little children to go out and vote.”

According to TrollWire’s tracker, here are two more polls that pundits say could have a major electoral impact:

  • Trump leads +45 among 32-and-a-half males who own both a 9mm Glock handgun and an AR-15 assault rifle
  • Biden leads +37 among Democrats who said 3 weeks ago that they would “absolutely vote for Joe Biden, no matter what the circumstances are”