“Texit”: The State of Texas Vows to Secede From the Union if Trump is Impeached

As the House Judiciary Committee votes in favor of articles of impeachment against President Donald J. Trump, leaders of the Texas state government are threatening to withdraw from the United States, in a move that is now being branded as “Texit.”

If Trump is impeached, state legislators claim, Texas will be re-established under its own central government – free from all laws currently governed by the federal government. “The dimwit Democrats in Congress have no grounds for this sham of an impeachment,” said Texas Governor Greg Abbott. “We won’t stand for it. If President Trump is impeached, the state of Texas will be seceding from the Union.”

Hundreds of thousands of Texans have rallied in support of Texit, as massive protests surface in cities like Austin, Forth Worth, and El Paso. Protesters have been seen toting signs marked with slogans like “Democrats Suck” and “You Impeach Trump, We Impeach You!”

One protestor, and staunch advocate of Texit, says he’s started an anti-impeachment group called the Trump-or-Busters. “We’ve decided it’s either Trump… or no one,” said Gary Bloggenstein. “I mean, come on… could you imagine that lame chicken-poop Pence running the show?”

Some legislators are already gearing up for Texit, proposing new laws that would replace the current federal laws governing the state. Among the proposed laws are legalizing rocket launchers, banning the use of confetti, and increasing taxes on light lager beer by 87 percent.