Treasury Department Says it’ll Need “Bigger and Better Printers”

As trillions of government dollars are being spent to mitigate economic fallout from the coronavirus, the U.S. Treasury Department is gearing up for a complicated fiscal situation. With individual stimulus payments and sizable additions to state unemployment systems, the government is infusing large sums of cash into the U.S. economy.

Treasure Department officials are saying such measures are necessary, but they could create a complicated fiscal problem in the future, which will require “bigger and better printers.”

Some prominent Americans are speculating why the Treasury Department would need to invest in larger printers. “It must be due to the trillions in cash that will need to be printed,” posited Hollywood socialite Kim Kardashian. “I’m not sure how they split up the denominations when the government prints money, but one thing I do know is there are a lot of dollar bills that make up a trillion dollars.”

In response to such speculation, Mnunchin has clarified that the reason the department will need the printers is because there will be a significant increase in memo distribution and other internal paperwork.