Trump on Economy: “Keep Shopping… Or You Let the Coronavirus Win”

As the stock market plummets, and as concerns over a global recession rise, the Trump administration is attempting to ease worries about a looming coronavirus pandemic. During a press conference on Tuesday, the President urged Americans to keep the economy moving by eating out frequently and continuing to shop at brick-and-mortar retailers.

“If we stay inside,” Trump explained during the briefing, “we let the coronavirus win.” The President went on to describe how the virus spreads, specifically, how people who fear the illness are the most vulnerable. “This thing feeds on fear,” he said. “When you sit around at home worrying, that’s when it gets you.”

He added: “The coronavirus, which was strategically crafted by the Chinese, wants you to be afraid. It wants you to stay home. It wants to halt America’s booming economy. And that’s when it wins.”

PS: Due to his enthusiastic views on population control, Ernie has been chomping at the bit over this story.