Woman With Social Anxiety Opposes Actions to Reduce Social Distancing

A woman in Atlanta, Georgia is speaking out against her state’s decision to reopen the economy, as it has led to a dramatic reduction in social distancing. Ashley Portman, a 24-year-old woman and professional video gamer, says Georgia Governor Brian Kemp’s move to reopen the economy has encouraged way too much social interaction.

“It’s reckless and dangerous,” said Portman, who left her home twice in 2019 when Instacart neglected to deliver her monthly supply of ramen noodles. “States need to return to their ‘shelter in place’ policies.”

Portman added that she hopes social distancing guidelines will continue for years to come, even after a COVID-19 vaccine is released and people begin to build up immunities to the virus.

“COVID-19 is a wakeup call for the world,” the woman said nervously. “In fact, I think it’s a blessing in disguise. This goes far beyond the coronavirus. We’re finally acknowledging the devastating impact of contagious illnesses. If we continue social distancing, we could make the common cold much less common.”